You Do Not Want to Suffer

You Do Not Want to Suffer

Nobody ever wants to suffer, and yet, we continue to do so. Frequently, due to no apparent fault of our own. Oh, how much we like listening to someone eagerly admonishing us that suffering is self-inflicted! When I am miserable and in pain, that is the last thing I want to hear. For someone who is not ready to hear that, it’s quite maddening. And when one is ready to hear it, then the advice is no longer necessary, now is it?

So, what can one do about it?

Start with small steps. Next time someone angers you – don’t jump into the anger yet. Wait a bit and stay calm. Not because it is the high road or the noble and spiritual thing to do. Wait out of curiosity – see what happens if there is a provoking person or situation and you refuse to succumb to the provocation. Does the situation get worse? Or better? Does it resolve itself? But above all, pay attention to how you feel. Which one is more painful – to be in a state of anger or to let things slide and disengage? If anger is not your thing, then experiment with another emotion that causes you distress or suffering.

Be the scientist in your life story! As far as New Year’s resolutions go – this is as good as any!

1 comment

  1. Olivia-Magali Soleil - Reply

    In a world of instant gratification, immediate results and low to no tolerance , going from 0 to 100 seems to have become the norm. Internalizing rejections and feelings of inadequacy are rampant. Anxiety, depression, anger and a slew of other emotions seem to be at the root of some of our suffering. Sitting with an emotion and riding the wave of curiosity will often times remove the visceral charge bubbling from within.
    What do you do when you have been conditioned and accustomed to being reactionary? And when we are not reacting, we are responding.
    What about observing with no judgement? Asking questions about what we are feeling and why we feel what we feel. Experiences are just that… experiences.
    What defines a pleasent or unpleasant experience is the emotional charge fueled by likes/dislikes, familial, societal, religious and personal beliefs. The aforementioned have affected our abilities to process events and situations with detachment and curiosity. Nothing and No thing is lost. We can unlearn what we have learned.

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